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Sunday, March 4, 2012

I KNOW HOW TO GET TOM CRUISE THAT OSCAR


Tom, in the role of a lifetime, is an old man in a rest home who develops a touching, bittersweet relationship with a beautiful male orderly played by Chris Pine, or some other square-jawed Hollywood wannabe. The big reveal is that Tom in the movie was a child runaway from the midwest who ends up a male hustler in New York just before the Aids epidemic hits. Poignant tragedy ensues. Welling strings. Tom effortlessly plays eighteen and eighty-ish and is Oscar-bound. In the poignant final coda, Chris lets old Tom go down on him (once old Tom removes his dentures). Gus Van Sant or Ang Lee directs. Reese Witherspoon plays matron.

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